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Monday
Jun152009

The 5 Worst Accents in the World

Good morning boys and girls. I hope everyone had a great weekend. The Phillies finally solved the Boston Red Sox yesterday and got their lead back up to 4 games over the Mets. They have to bury that freaking team. Now the Phillies are a combined 2-97 against the Red Sox since inter-league play began and that is awesome.

I wonder how the Phillies would have done against them in the World Series last year. The Phillies were a different ball club in October, everything went their way and Cole Hamels was on a different planet. I still think they would have won, but not as easily as they did against Tampa Bay.

We’ll never know.

The Waltdog starting traveling again this week, I flew out to Boston yesterday. I was surrounded by Bostonites the entire flight.

Their accents drive me freaking crazy. I think they think people like their stupid accents and they make their accents more pronounced. I know they don’t talk like that all the time. It has to drive even people from Boston crazy.

Boston Harba, New England Clam chowda, I am going to the ba for some bea. Stop it, I will clam chowder your freaking face.

There are a few other accents that are absolutely intolerable. Here are the top 5, including the Boston peeps:

5) Boston

Boston accent – I am surprised that this accent isn’t number one. The accent makes my skin crawl. It is cute and funny for two seconds then it is like nails on a chalkboard. If I got forced to move to Boston, I would either wear earmuffs everywhere or jam a pencil into both ears and puncture both ear drums. I would rather be deaf then listen to these idiots talk about their wicked mad days hanging out at the Boston Harba.

 

4) Jewish

Jewish accents – It sounds like people with Jewish accents eat pubic hair salads for a living and the hairs get caught in the back of their throats so they are constantly trying to cough the pubic hairs out. Any way you look at it that is not good. I think Jewish people produce more flem than any other people in the world.

 

3) New York

New York accents – They sound freaking ridiculous. How can you take anyone serious that talks with a thick New York accent? They all talk like they want to be in the mob. Every single one of them is crazy hand talkers too. If you are talking within five feet of anyone from New York, you need protect eyewear. Yous guys talking to me? I just threw up in my mouth a little.

 

2) French

French accents – I hate French people. They sound so smug, with their French accents as they wear their berets and smoke their extra long cigarettes through their thin mustaches, talking down on the average American person. They can take their fancy cheeses and shove it up their rear ends. I do like French fries though.

 

1) Southern

Southern Accents – It doesn’t really bother me too much but people that talk in Southern Accents always sound slow to me. It is almost like they have to formulate their thoughts AS they are speaking. They don’t sound too intelligent. I don’t mean to knock them but it’s true. Every time I hear a Southern Accent, I think of Forrest Gump. That is not good. I worked in Dallas for a year and people down there do not move at the same pace as people from the Northeast. They move at their own pace and I love it. They are not in a rush as they take their time. That is something I can appreciate.

 

That is it folks. Until tomorrow!


 

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Reader Comments (27)

I think most Middle East languages are worse then these. Not only do they spit and make harsh sounds, they usually are spawned in a evil tone. Now granted - these experiences come from movies where they are always terrorists. Outside of them, I am sure they are pleasent. But - if we are to offend - we should offend everyone.

June 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJoseph D.

You don't know the French.

June 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterRondog

Wow, I think you left out the absolutely worst accent in the world... the very typical Indian accent, when I hear this sound, it makes me want to split my head... check out the different indian accents on youtube and you'll know what I mean!

June 15, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMini

Rondog - love it. No - you don't know the know the French. Thanks for the laugh today!
Wonder where Matt is now - probably in France!

June 15, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterwifesense

do people mime with an accent ?

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterjoseph

Hey, lay offa da New Yawk accents, pal. One a dese days youse might live ta regret da sarcasm.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterChris

Yes, those Roxbur' accents sound much more intelligent that the southern ones.

June 16, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterPretzel Pete

Dont forget the asian language accents. Gawd...please shoot me now!

June 20, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterMay

Jewish is not a language I'm afraid, its a religion. HEBREW is probably what you mean. Jewish people speak all sorts of languages without the "accent" you are referring to. The Hebrew language does have some rough notes in it, but hey, its a really old language.

Just thought you want to know the difference between religion and language. I speak perfect English with no accent at all.

I just moved from ATLANTA to Chicago and if you want to hate accents, it the SOUTHERN ACCENT that really grates on ones' nerves........ if i never hear another one again i'll be glad. Its worse than the accent, its the "I'm fixin' to go to the store" and other idiot sayings that drive me to drink.

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDebra Burman-Gisby

you fucking racist. i hate people who say FREAKIN instead of what they really mean because they are american and too embarrassed to swear.

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranat

Hey, do you speak German, French or Arabic? No? Well, then you have no reason to make fun of foreign accents. Those people actually try to speak YOUR language !!! So you better be thankful for them trying!!! Without them you wouldn't have italian pizza, german sausages, french bread or any middle eastern spices !!!!

P.s. get your shit right! Jewish is not a language!!!

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered Commenterme

Ha-Ha anat and me! that is awesome! People take poop too serious! Anat - I am not really following on the racist card, I don't think talking about accents is racist at all, nor was it intended to be. If you took it that way, then I apologize. It was not meant that way, it was intended in jest. I do think you need to chill out, though. I use the word freaking as a substitution to try and keep this PG rated, not because I am Stupid American too embarassed to swear. I curse like a truck driver, but that doesn't have to show up in print.

To me - I do not speak any other language. I barely speak English. I reserve the right to make fun of anyone though, that is the American Way!!! The people currently living in Italy and the mid-east have nothing to do with Pizza or Spices, they were invented and founded CENTURIES ago! The foreigner that live in American SHOULD speak English. THEY LIVE HERE! I do not live abroad, if I did, I would try and speak the language so I am not really following your logic.

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWalt

Everybody has an accent. And the worst accents are usually those least familiar, or less understandable to us. I had a good laugh with your post, but it's also a funny example of the assumptions we make and the biases we hold about others. Hopefully in real life we can suspend those biases and assumptions and listen beyond the accents to the real people and their messages.

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterAda

Some people take blogs waaaayyyyyy to seriously. Great read. Thanks Walt!

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterCloudy

I thought this was a comedy blog...people need to lighten up. Good stuff Wally

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterDave Cup

I'll have to agree, the blog was funny. Good job Walt.

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterSL

So, I guess this is just another blog trying to get out of the crowd by making fun of others. "Great job Walt", or anything else you'd like to hear, because for someone that can only speak one language, let's face it ; ain't quite good enough, dude. Good luck by the way.

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterJo

Thanks Jo! I have been making fun of others since 1981, so it is nice to finally get the recognition I deserve!

PS - I commend ANYONE that can speak multiple languages, I think that is awesome! I think that speaking only ONE language is more than good enough. I am getting bye okay just speaking in English slang. Thanks for the Good Luck wishes, I wish you the best as well!!!

October 13, 2009 | Unregistered CommenterWalt

I like the southern drawl sooo much and I also love the scottish accent as well!

You should write an article about the accents you love! Don't be bitter and mean...it's bad for your lungs...

October 14, 2009 | Unregistered Commenteranna

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