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Entries in Animals (6)

Tuesday
Jul202010

Gun Toting Monkeys

Kabul, July 15: The US-led forces fighting the Taliban fighters in Afghanistan might soon encounter 'gun-toting' monkeys, trained for 'jihad', if a rumor doing the rounds in the Chinese media is to be believed. 

The New York Post cited the state-run People's Daily as saying that the Taliban is "training monkeys to use weapons to attack American troops". 

"... The Taliban forces have tried any possible means and figured out a method to train monkeys as 'replacement killers' against American troops," Stars and Stripes quoted the Chinese daily as saying.

The militants were arming the primates with AK-47 rifles, machine guns and trench mortars in the Waziristan tribal region bordering Pakistan and Afghanistan, it claimed. 

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Tuesday
Feb022010

It's Groundhog Day - Who Does Punxsutawney Phil Think He Is?

Hey Phil, do realize you are a freaking groundhog right? Do you think you are better then us? You’re a chubby little bastard who wields a pretty powerful stick. All you have to do is come out of your little nook once a year and simply look around to seeif you can see your shadowthen predict how much longer winter will be. What a great gig!

If he sees his shadow it is 6 more weeks of winter.  If he doesn’t see his shadow then springtime will come early. 

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Thursday
Mar262009

People Who Dress Up Their Pets

This is a special breed of people. They take so much time and effort to coordinate their little pet outfits. They think it is so cute. Then they talk to their pets in their little baby voices, like the pets can understand them.

[In a Baby Voice] “Hey Fluffy, you are the cutest little dog in the whole wide world! Yes you are! My little snookie-wookums!

[In a Baby Voice] “Hey Snowball, you are the fluffiest little white cat in the universe! Yes you are! My little pumpkin pie!

[In a Baby Voice] “Hey Dog Owner, you are the most annoying dog owner in the whole wide world! Yes you are! My little geeky Mcgeekerson! Who wants to punch you in the face? The Waltdog does! Yes he does! Ah, you are so precious…

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Tuesday
Mar102009

Man Wrestles Kangaroo from Home

This is no joke. You know the world is coming to an end when you wake up and a kangaroo is in your kitchen eating cereal. I think that is actually one of the seven signs written about in the bible.

I know I just wrote about this recently but this story really happened. Maybe I have some special powers and what I write about actually comes true. Some poor family out there may just wake up and get mauled to death by a Rosie O’Donnell. I pray that doesn’t happen.

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Monday
Mar092009

The Jockey

I was watching the Animal Planet channel on Sunday afternoon and I caught a marathon of a new television show based on a feisty little creature called “The Jockey.”

I had heard of this breed of animal but I had never seen one up close or in person so I did a little research.

The Jockeys’ scientific name is littleous personous and they are part of the buzzard family.

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